Thursday, August 28, 2008

One of the best quotes ever! Name the movie.

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What movie and character?

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f***ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f***in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Don't cheat and google. Name that movie.

"Just be careful, because it's a meaningful sweater to me, it's vintage."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Who said it?

Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Who said that?

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Turn it up to 11

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
- Samuel Adams

Monday, August 18, 2008

Keep swinging that hammer

"When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before."
- Jacob August Riis

Friday, August 15, 2008

A word to the wise...

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."
-Woody Allen

What is the world coming to?

Cinderella, others arrested in Disneyland labor protest

"Cinderella, Snow White, Tinkerbell and other fictional fixtures of modern-day childhood were handcuffed, frisked and loaded into police vans Thursday..."

Thursday, August 14, 2008

People Really Do Look Better When You Drink

"For the first time, scientists have proven that "beer goggles" are real..."

Naughty Bits

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
Mel Brooks

Top 3 Summer Olympic "sports" that suck

There is a long list of so-called sport in the Olympics that aren't even really sports. I'm not saying they don't require skills or some athletic ability, just that they do not belong in the Olympics. Any "sport" that has judges for "artistic impression" or form needs to go away!

My choices:

3. synchronized swimming/diving
2. rhythmic gymnastics of any kind
1. dressage.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sensing a theme of animals in costumes this week?

"Nearly every man who develops an idea works it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then he gets discouraged. That's not the place to become discouraged."
-Thomas Edison

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

More Deep Thoughts

"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away."
-Jack Handey

Monday, August 11, 2008

I'm no failure!

"A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life."
-Christopher Morley

Real Men of Genius

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-- Joe Theismann

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Separated at Birth?

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.
Samuel Smiles

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Something for Dutrow

The deepest thing in any one is the conviction of the bad luck that follows boasting.
Gertrude Stein

Monday, August 4, 2008

Two quotes in one day for no extra charge!

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
Maya Angelou

No Clue?

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
Honore de Balzac

Friday, August 1, 2008

The Key to Success in Anything

By perseverance the snail reached the ark.
Charles Spurgeon